Female toxic tendency to the workplace that must be stopped

As a coach and high -performance organizational psychologist, I have seen all kinds of workplace dynamics.

But one of the most disturbing is that successful women start other women.

It is corrosive, often subtle and incredibly harmful. Ask women who have been at the end of the harassment of women as they felt, and the answer is often the same: “sucking punctured”, “blindly” and “rolled up”.

They never saw it coming.

Toxic friendships, especially among women, are more common than we realize. And here is the shooter: when female friendships go to the south, they often come with emotional complexities that make them more difficult to escape. This is because we are wiring for connection.

We hope kindness and camaraderie of other women. So when betrayal climbs, it feels worse than when it comes, for example, from a acquaintance or even a romantic couple. The emotional toll is achieved because we do not expect it from another woman, after all we are sisters.

So why can the brotherhood be so quickly? Anthropologists and psychologists have long studied female relational aggression and some research suggests that competition between women can be traced to evolutionary instincts, territorial disputes, social hierarchy struggles and even subtle sabotage forms. Regardless of whether toxicity comes from deep evolutionary instincts or only personal luggage, being in a harmful friendship is not recommended, it is detrimental.

If you have reached the point where the relationship takes more than you are taking, it’s time to take a step back. This is like:

• Recognize the reality – If a friendship constantly leaves you stressed or drained, this is a sign that no longer serves you. If it is a job situation, do not explain what happens. Do you face what’s wrong? Do you identify the type of toxicity that is: Are they disrespectful or something more sinister like frequent and repetitive bullying?

• Choose your approach -Algua friendships require a direct conversation. Others benefit from gradual distance. If it is an employment relationship that is wrong, approach -strategically: Check with a mentor or, if necessary, RRHH if it is safe to do it.

• Set clear boundaries -If you decide to talk, be firm and honest: “I do not feel that our friendship is healthy for me and I need to move away.”

At work it may not be so cut and dry, especially if it is a colleague or your head. I would advise to get support to present a strategy that keeps your wisdom and does not finish your career. Often, when a woman goes out to another woman, she is a career that limits her career to shout. Find out how much assistance will you receive from your workplace and if you are worth the risk.

Maintain professionalism at all times.

• Bury your fault – Prioritizing peace is not selfish. If leaving a toxic friendship means to move away from a job, a social circle or an environment that no longer serves you, that’s it. At work, it is the same agreement, but it must be managed differently. If you have to leave the organization because you cannot see a constructive way to eliminate -from the toxic firing line of the colleague, go out before losing confidence and strength to pursue better career opportunities.

To end with a toxic friendship is not an act of cruelty, it is an act of self -conservation. And when it finally moves away, create space for friendships that feel lighter, genuine and mutually.

So here is your reminder. You get to decide the terms of your relationships. You have the power. Write the script.

Vanessa Vershaw is the author of the paradox of brotherhood: the psychology of female aggression in work (publishes $ 34.95). She is an elite elite psychologist and elite trusted advisor and trusted adviser to the executives and the main heads of the ASX-20 decision and the Fortune 100 companies worldwide. Get more information at www.vanessavershaw.com/